There are a lot of times when we say that we have no control; that is when we are living by our habits.
That is why in our practice, we start from our reality, we start from our actions, and try to identify and trace back what kind of thought leads to this. And we have to limit that thought and be aware of it.
In ancient times, there was a Zen Master who after attaining enlightenment taught his disciples: don’t think! Because we are thinking according to our pattern. Those thoughts are not helping at all. That is why the Zen Master told his students “Don’t think! Don’t think through your existing patterns.”
You have to remove those patterns so that you can elevate yourself. That is the only way to solve the problems in your life.